That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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