He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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