the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
