when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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