hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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