just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
