went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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