She's JV to your varsity
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
