i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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