Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
