I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
