i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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