Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
