dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
