Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
