You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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