I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
