idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
