This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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