Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
