I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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