Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
