I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Randomize
