allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
