...so i touched it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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