hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
