I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
