omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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