first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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