I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i think my cat just said my name.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
