Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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