There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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