My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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