It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
