wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
