Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
