I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can I color on your dick again?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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