I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You dont lie about slip and slides
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
