Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
