Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
