these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
