Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
