You made me cry and you don't even care
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
