Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
