that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Alive.
So much puke
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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