Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize