like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
