his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
