So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
