Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
