Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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